How To Gain Self Confidence » Low Self Esteem

Low Self Esteem – 3 Quick Ways to Boost Your Self Esteem

admin — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 04:34:34 +0000

Low self esteem is a devastating downward spiral of negative thinking. Every negative thought you have about yourself dents your confidence. That in turn is made obvious to anyone that meets you and they react to that. This then reaffirms your perception of yourself as useless and worthless.The only way to break out of the black hole of low self esteem is to smash this negative thinking spiral and replace it with a positive thinking cycle. This is sometimes referred to as a virtuous circle. Positive thoughts make you more self confident. People see this and treat you as someone worthy of their attention. This reaffirms your self belief and so on.So if the secret to improving your self esteem is in changing your subconscious thought patterns, how can you do it? Easy. Build up an arsenal of powerful ‘mind weapons’ which you will use every day until they become second nature to you. Usually within about thirty days.Here are three quick and easy ‘mind weapons’ to get you started. Although simple to use, they become hugely effective when you develop the habit of using them and they take effect on autopilot.The first mind weapon is the fixed positive thought. Your aim is to create one extremely powerful positive thought about yourself which you will draw upon every time you feel bad about yourself. To make this powerful, listen to your favourite happy song with your eyes closed and imagine yourself doing something you are good at and really enjoy.Do this exercise every day for a month until the image is deep in your mind. Every time you feel low, go and listen to that song and close your eyes if you are in a place to do so. Over time you can recreate this in your own mind without having to close your eyes or even listen to the song. It will take place in your mind.The second mind weapon is switch thinking. Imagine walking into a party and someone attractive looks over at you. Your low self esteem reaction would be to think that that person thinks you are ugly and boring. Instantly switch that thought to the exact opposite. Imagine that look means they find you attractive and they are catching your eye hoping you will come and talk to them.Cue your fixed positive thought and then give a quick smile back and move straight on with purpose to something else whilst fixing an imagine in your mind that the other person has smiled back. Giving someone a smile whilst not waiting for one back shows the other person extreme self confidence and they will admire you for that. Over time you will feel comfortable with this and allow yourself to wait for the real smile back which will ultimately come.The third mind weapon is critical thinking. If you are self conscious you will imagine that everyone is judging you and your actions every second of the day. You are processing those negative thoughts almost constantly and it is exhausting and humiliating.With critical thinking, make snap decisions on how to process these incoming thoughts. You cannot prevent these thoughts coming in but you can decide to simply ignore them. If it is all too much for you simply allow the thoughts, as they say, to pass in one ear and straight out of the other. Then just switch to your fixed positive thought.If you have a bit more confident with this you can allow the negative thought to be stay long enough to be processed. In most cases you will recognise that it is an irrational thought and not worthy of reacting to and let it go.What about those negative thoughts that do seem to have some rational truth to them? This is where you make the biggest leap. You accept that nobody is perfect and there is absolutely no way you can please everybody all of the time. Think to yourself “Yeah? And so what…” Honestly, try it. It is one of the most liberating thoughts you can have.The key to successfully dispelling low self esteem and building immense self confidence is to create your own personal arsenal of these quick and easy mind weapons. Use each one at least once a day for a month until they become second nature. A habit or subconscious thought pattern then happens automatically. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain if you give them a try.

More Confidence in 5 Easy Steps

admin — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 04:58:40 +0000

1. Sharpen the Image

1. Certainty

Lets face it, when if comes to confidence no one is perfect. But it seems to me like one of the biggest factors in having high levels of self confidence comes from knowing exactly what you want out of life. I mean think about it, when you are not very sure about what you want, where you are going, or what kind of results you would like to achieve. That leads to a fair amount of uncertainty which can be a total killer of confidence. That is why certainty is the first key; it is because it is so important. Your action activity for this first key is to set some time aside and really focus on what you want out of life, where you want your life to go, and what kind of experiences you would like to have and make sure to be a detailed imaginative as you can. You will see your confidence level rise; because you will be completely aware of how you want to walk through life.

2. Fearlessness

Now when I speak of fearlessness I am not talking about having a total absence of fear. I am talk about your association to fear. Many of us live far below our potential; and it is not because they are not smart enough, or able, yet it is because they are just too afraid to try something new, ultimately they are afraid to fail. Yet the psychology of someone who has a great level of confidence does not see failure as something that is negative or to be feared. Ask your self this question right now. Am I willing to learn from my mistakes? True confidence comes from the ability to make mistakes, learn from them and use what you learned to take a better action next time. So go out and make some mistakes!

3. Awareness

Have you ever been looking for something and not been able to find it, and become upset and annoyed because you know this thing you are looking was “Right there!!” just two minutes ago? Just to have someone else point the thing out right in front of your nose? It is no different when it comes to confidence, when we get into a negative state of mind it is easy to ride it further and further down. Yet the whole time there is our confidence, our power, right next to us the whole time. So now it is time to become aware of the fact that we choose our thoughts and that confidence can be ours at any moment as long as we just make a strong decision to take a step back, take a deep breath, and reset our thoughts. Action step? Work on being aware of when your confidence starts to flounder, and ask your self some empowering questions like, How in this moment do I have power? Or what would it take for me to have more confidence right now?

4. Self Talk

The next key goes hand in hand with the one before it. Along with being aware of your confidence when it starts to slip, being aware of your own self talk. That is the way you communicate with your self. Way too often people are negative in their thoughts. They ask questions to themselves that require a negative answer. Like I always say your brain is like a machine, it has no bias what ever you put in is what you get out. So make a point of only asking questions or making statements that are positive. You will find your confidence going up because you constantly will be receiving information that makes you feel good, rather than information that makes you want to crawl under a rock. The homework for this one is to take complete ownership of your thoughts, remember you are the boss! If there are thoughts going on in your mind that do not support you, instantly make a statement that is the opposite. You will be blown away by the effects!

5. Practice

In this day and age of instant Email, instant messages, I want it now, give it to me now. It can be difficult to have to have patience. We all want the results but no one wants to do the work. Often times it is the very thing that people do not want to do, the thing they wont do, that is exactly what the need to do. How many of us do not exercise? How many of us to not deepen our relationships when we know we should? I think you get my point, so the real secret is just old fashioned practice. Make confidence something you are fully committed to, use these tools everyday, make them a part of who you are. This change in your belief and how you construct your thoughts will lead to a shift in your life that will knock you off your socks! Guaranteed!

Disclaimer: If you follow the 5 Keys to Unstoppable Confidence with passion and determination you may encounter the following side effects: Abnormal Joy, decreased stress, problems complaining, lack of nervousness, increased sex drive, feeling empowered upon arising from a sitting or lying position, racing heartbeat, manic intensity,

Thu, 24 Sep 2009 06:08:56 +0000

There are many different confidence courses available for people from all walks of life, all ages, and all income levels. The increased need for building self confidence is almost universally acknowledged, and many instructors are responding to this need by presenting a range of courses that can really help you enhance your self confidence and self esteem.

Interestingly enough, if you really suffer from low self esteem or self confidence, simply just signing up for and showing up at a confidence course can be a challenge in and of itself – think of it as the first step in your overall process, or possibly the second, since identifying the problem in the first place is actually really where the process of building self-confidence usually start.

So how do you know if you could benefit from attending or completing a confidence course? Well, for a start, most people could benefit from such a course regardless or current confidence levels. If you are at all disatisfied with your inter-personal relationships, your work, and the way you feel about yourself (and many, if not most, of us are – at least from time to time) chances are that your confidence could use a boost or kick-start. A self confidence course may prove to be exactly what the doctor ordered, so to speak.

And how can a confidence course help you exactly? It’s not regarded as the same as regular types of therapy, but it will allow you to explore, with other people in the same situation, the issues surrounding self-confidence in a much more direct and focused way than regular inter-personal interaction. Various differing techniques are currently used in the current confidence courses, and these will vary a great deal depending on the instructor and the layout of the particular course you get involved with.

One thing that you can be absolutely sure of is that your current comfort zone will be challenged in some way, that you may be asked to speak in public, and that various exercises will be designed and implemented to allow you to work on your confidence issues or work on those things that are currently holding you back. For example, you might be asked to confront in saftely, something that is normally very difficult for you to do, such as speaking frankly in front of the entire group and sharing difficult past and present experiences.

The amount of confidence that you can gain from participating in such a course is its own reward. Many people find the experience more than worth while – it can be invaluable for your own personal growth and development. A welcome ’side-effect’ from a physical course is the close friendships that tend to develop in the context of such a course. When people grow together and share their private experiences, it makes for a very profound and deep way of interacting, and you are more than likely to make a few lasting friendships when taking a confidence course.

http://www.google.com

Thu, 24 Sep 2009 05:47:18 +0000

You can’t argue the fact that when it comes to the subject of fitness or diet, there are gazillions of information that caters mostly for people who wish to lose weight. Now what about skinny people looking to gain weight? Although being overweight can be a real pain, having a skinny, high-metabolism body is not a very pleasant experience either. As a once chronic hardgainer, I can’t begin to tell you how painful it was to be constantly disparaged with terms like “the skinny guy”, “twiggy”, “sticks” ,”bony”, “Mr. Anorexic”’, and too many irritating and hurtful ones to list.

Being frequently belittled is just one of the many problems faced by those with extremely lanky frame. Skinny people are also susceptible to many health problems, prone to bouts of flu, usually perceived as weak and unattractive, low self-esteem, and much, much more. I’m sure there are many skinny, lanky guys out there who are dying to gain a little bit of weight, along with some muscle mass to become more appealing to the opposite gender or simply to increase self-confidence in general.

Genetics is the major reason why a lot of hardgainers find themselves in a bind when it comes to putting on weight. We skinny people have extremely high metabolism hence we don’t put on weight as effectively as those who are blessed with normal metabolic rate. Although genetics may not work in your favor as far as gaining weight is concerned, there are proven means to help you solve the problem. All it takes are the right knowledge coupled with a little hard work.

Always keep in mind that adding slabs of mass onto your thin frame is absolutely possible no matter how lousy your genetics may be. The following are ten very effective mass building tips for skinny people who want to gain weight and increase muscle size:

1. Eat a lot – I know this may sound obvious but the cold hard fact is that most hard gainers fail to consume adequate amount of calories to increase their weight. Remember that you have a higher metabolic rate than the average person therefore your caloric intake must be significantly higher as well. In order to gain weight and build muscle mass, you must consume more calories than you burn.

2. Consume high protein foods – You may have trouble gaining weight and all, but that still doesn’t accord you the license to indulgence on all kinds of junk foods, unless you’re in hurry to become overweight. Junk foods are mostly made up of empty calories, totally void of nutrients, and therefore, will not help you add pounds of healthy muscle mass to your body. Eating protein rich foods on a daily basis are an absolute must if you wish to put on “muscle weight”. Protein is the cornerstone for optimal muscle development. Without this nutrient, your body will not be able to build and repair damaged muscle tissues, sustained during intense heavy workout. Foods with high protein content include poultry, fish, beef, whole eggs, milk, cottage cheese, tofu, and the mighty whey.

3. Eat slow-digestion meals before bedtime – Most people would regard the notion of eating before bedtime as a sure-fire way to add excess bodyfat, but for skinny people who want to gain weight, the importance of eating slow-digestion meals prior to dozing off cannot be stressed enough. The key to avoid adding unwanted bodyfat is to choose proper foods such as milk, oatmeal, and flaxseed oil to drip feed your muscles with the necessary nutrients when you’re fast sleep.

4. Concentrate on free weight compound exercises – Place more emphasis on free weight compound movements like presses, deadlifts, squats, rows, chin-ups, and dips. They are proven to recruit more muscle fibers leading to massive gain in size and bodyweight.

5. Train heavy – Focus on training with heavy weights, otherwise you won’t grow. How heavy? Well, if you’re able to bang out 8 to 12 reps that mean the weights are not heavy enough.

6. Don’t neglect your legs – Pay attention to the muscle groups in your legs as well. Train them just as hard as you would train the rest of your bodyparts. A pair of muscular legs will contribute greatly to the overall development of your physique.

7. Avoid cardio – Since you’re a skinny hardgainer aiming to increase mass and weight, cardio is totally unnecessary. Perform cardio after you have successfully gained the weight that you wish for.

8. Spend Less Time in the Gym – Overtraining may greatly hinder your progress and lead to burnout or worse, muscle injuries. You’re not a pro-bodybuilder so keep the length of your workout to not more than 1 hour and stick to 3 sessions per week for good results.

9. Consider the appropriate supplementation – Supplements are not an absolute must of course, but they do however, make your life easier and certainly allow you to accomplish your goals faster. Proven weight gain and muscle building supplements that you should consider are creatine, meal replacement powder, and basic whey protein.

10. Seek instructions from proven muscle building programs – By and large, the most essential part of the one’s muscle building plan. A good muscle building program with strong support modules can mean the difference between success and failure as it consist of proven mass building tips, motivation tactics, exercises, and diet for people who want to gain weight which are compiled in an organized, streamlined training system. One program played a major role in changing my physique in less than 2 months!

http://www.google.com

Thu, 24 Sep 2009 05:44:45 +0000

There is a lot of relationship and synergy going around when talking about affirmation and self esteem and this is why. The problem with low confidence is belief and the existence of a paramount amount of negative energy. This energy can come in the form of insults, failures, stress and other negative factors that have the effect of lowering your self confidence on a daily basis.

Affirmation is actually a method coming from the New Age section of modern society, and it basically believes that a person can actually change themselves to a much more positive person with the use and bombardment of carefully sculpted messages. Now these two things are related in the sense that one represents a solution to another. Self esteem issues always centre around the lack of belief in a person’s self worth and this is mainly because of many experiential factors around them. In the halls of psychology, low self esteem is called a behavioural disorder which affects plenty of people all over the world.

This is when they have lost the value of their own self worth, they have no longer the conviction to perform their duties because they simply do not believe in their own abilities anymore. Why this comes about is a question that can be answered in so many ways, from a social, historical and psychological perspective and in this article, we will not be concentrating so much on the why but on the how to solve this problem. You just cannot gain back belief as you would try to retrieve something you misplaced. Belief is like the human liver, and negative energy is like alcohol. Sooner or later, this negative energy will simply suck the liver to a small size, and soon all you will be left is something that is merely a percentage of its former self.

When looking at this, you need to get yourself away from all the negative aspects of your life, and how you need to do this is to make a list of the things you are involved in and how they play a part in your life. You need to take stock of the situation and know your enemy and see how negative energy actually manifests in them. When you can do this, then and only then can you employ the use of positive affirmation. Positive affirmation is carefully sculpted personal words addressing yourself and telling yourself that you CAN do the things you want to do.

Affirmation is a feel good drug that most people use to bombard themselves with positive energy and it is particularly useful when used regularly. Messages like these can then embed themselves in the sub conscious mind and then give you a natural inclination to be positive in the long run. These are the words you can use to empower you and raise your self esteem to levels that would help you to regain your confidence and get back that life you always wanted.

http://www.google.com

Thu, 24 Sep 2009 05:21:24 +0000

changes in work or career go, some seem to have little difficulty in going with the flow while others can not seem to keep up. Sometimes, age may have something to do with it, but much has to do with personality, flexibility and adaptability. For example, during poor economic times, many will be unable to cope and can fall behind, while there are a few who are able to make things work for them. Even the stress in looking for a new job is not as easily manageable for some as it is for their peers. Looking for a new job is almost never easy. First, there is deciding what kind of work would be best suited for a person so that they will have the opportunity to be involved in something they may enjoy and do well at. Next, there is putting together the resume and cover letter, and then there is the interview that may land the applicant a job. Whether a person is looking for their first job or another job, confidence in one’s self and abilities is key to increasing the chances they will find employment soon. For those looking for their first job, low confidence can be more difficult to come by because they are inexperienced and can be quite conscious of that fact. Low-self esteem can also inhibit their level of confidence, which can get in the way of their earning a position if their interviewer does not feel they are ‘bold’ enough to get the job done right. Individuals who have been working for a while may find looking for a new job exciting or terrifying; some may even feel a little of both. How they feel about looking for new employment can often be directly affected by their confidence in their self (the level of their self-esteem), how they are regarded and treated in their home life, as well as how they lost or left their previous place of employment. Being laid off and then being unable to find a decent job that pays anywhere near what they were previously paid can also take a toll on a person’s confidence because less pay can make them feel less valuable and/or capable to society. When seeking new employment, few will feel that speaking with a counselor or therapist would be very useful; however, consulting an online counselor can go a long way in helping a person to gain some confidence. Any online therapist will tell their client or patient that confidence can greatly increase a person’s chances in landing the kind of job they want, because the interviewer is looking for someone who is sure of their self and confident in their belief that they can do the job they are possibly being hired for. Online counseling is not just for someone who is feeling depressed or is in a poor situation, it is also an excellent resource for those who are looking to find some comfort and security when going through a change in their life. When looking to build some confidence to go after the kind of work they know they can do, some light online therapy could be just what they need.

http://www.google.com

Thu, 24 Sep 2009 05:19:09 +0000

admin — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 07:22:01 +0000

Everyone one of us knows the important role that self confidence plays in our lives. Without a good measure of confidence in ourselves we would find it difficult to interact in social, business or even personal situations. Every one of us has some degree of confidence in ourselves whether we realize it or not. Without confidence you would not survive in the world! For example you must have enough faith that you can clothe, feed and shelter yourself. However how many of us take a good look at the state of our self esteem? If you take the time to increase your self esteem you will find that your self confidence increases naturally. Build a solid strong self-image, with high self-esteem and you will feel invincible!

Increasing your self-esteem and rebuilding your self image to reflect the person you want to be and the type of person who is already living the life you desire will lead to more happiness, success and confidence. So what is self-esteem and how can you develop your own?

Well, self-esteem is simply a word that is used to describe how you feel about yourself. It represents your own self worth and reflects your internal beliefs about yourself and your place in the world.

Your self-esteem is the bedrock of your self-image and it is your self-image that you use, unconsciously, as a guide to your own abilities – what you think you can and cannot achieve. Your self-image is also the blue-print from which you build your life. If you have a negative or unrealistically negative image of yourself and your abilities then your life will never work the way you wish it to regardless of how hard you try to change it!

As your self image is how you see yourself then this determines how you think, act and react to the world around you. It influences your behaviour and thus it is directly responsible for the results you get in life. Having low self-esteem usually leads to a victim type self-image where you feel like it is impossible for you to succeed.

If you have high self-esteem your self-image will be very positive and you will feel like you can handle any problem and overcome any obstacle. You feel like you will succeed no matter what life throws at you. Optimism will be a natural automatic by-product.

When you have a strong sense of self worth and high self-esteem you tend to know where you are going in life. It is a fact that men and women who have high self-esteem know what they want from life. They are generally much more goal-orientated than others. These people exude confidence and optimism because they believe that no matter what obstacles they encounter they will reach their goal if they keep going and don’t give-up!

Having high self-esteem allows you to think clearly and avoid emotional thinking and this leads to the gaining the skill of persistence. It allows you to act in circumstances from a clear mental view point instead of reacting. This gives you much more power in any circumstance because you can think clearly and make decisions based on solid evidence and clear rationalization with the belief that you can find a way to effectively deal with the situation at hand. People with low self-esteem usually just give-up when faced with challenges because they believe they cannot meet them.

People with high self-esteem are more centered in the moment. Their thoughts are not in the past or focused on the distant future. By feeling secure, safe and loving they keep their focus in the present and thus enjoy their experiences much more. Those with low-self-esteem find it hard to enjoy what they are doing because their thoughts dwell on the past, future potential failures and the worry of how other people perceive them. Having a solid belief in yourself and your abilities also gives you the opportunity to look at your weaknesses and improve yourself because you are able to see these as challenges to overcome rather than as a criticisms or affirmations of your faults.

In order to achieve high self-esteem you must first be willing to accept yourself as you are. Stop judging yourself and especially stop judging the past. The key is to live in the moment.

Take inventory of your strengths. Congratulate yourself on your abilities and the skills you have developed on your journey through life. Accept that you have made mistakes, everyone makes them. Accept that you have learned valuable lessons from things that you believe you have done wrong. Every action you have ever taken has helped to develop the person you are today and the knowledge you gained from each experience will help to create the person you intend to be tomorrow. Every experience you have is moving you towards your desires!

Recall your success and dwell on them for a moment internally. There is no need to be egotistical about this. Just congratulate yourself on a job well done and know that you can replicate these successes again and again! Also think about what you want to gain in life. Set yourself some goals. If it seems like they are too far out of reach then set smaller goals first that will lead you closer to your ultimate desires.

Having doubts about your ability to achieve your goals can be used to your advantage. Write down, in a point by point list, all the reason you believe you cannot achieve your goals. Then take each one and develop a plan to overcome each obstacle. An example would be if you wanted a better paying job and set a goal to change your career yet you think that you do not have the necessary experience or qualifications to achieve this. In order to overcome these negative beliefs you must create a plan to gain the experience and/or qualifications you feel you need. Perhaps setting a goal to return to night school or volunteer to gain more experience would address these issues. In such a case you would take inventory of your current circumstances and determine how best you could gain what you needed.

Another essential skill you need to develop is the use of positive self-talk. Watch how you speak to yourself internally and how you speak about yourself to others. Both are forms of affirmations which are really commands you are giving to your subconscious mind. You must reprogram your mind for success. Write your goal down, in the present tense, as though you were telling someone else exactly how your life is now. Read the statement every morning and every night. Try self-hypnosis as a form of positive mental brain-washing. Use it to program your subconscious mind for success.

In this way you will increase your belief in yourself, your abilities and your future and your self-esteem will sky-rocket!

http://www.google.com